


It's Not Your Fault

by dark__swan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Miscarriage, cs angst, don't read it's too sad, jk please read it because that's why I wrote it, loss of a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4793795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark__swan/pseuds/dark__swan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma and Killian end up miscarrying.<br/>---<br/>Loosely based off Anna Kendrick and Chase Crawford's characters/story in "What to Expect When You're Expecting".<br/>---<br/>If you don't like reading about miscarriages, DON'T READ THIS FIC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Your Fault

     They hadn't meant to get pregnant. Emma was on birth control at the time and didn't think much of it. After all, that's all she'd had for the ten years she lived alone, and she never got pregnant once (she never even had a pregnancy scare before), so when Mary Margaret suggested Emma see Doctor Whale after she had thrown up each morning for a week, Emma never imagined it would result in this.

     She should have known better. It's exactly how she got pregnant the first time: Neal refused to wear a condom ("It doesn't feel good with one on"), and Emma, being only sixteen at the time, didn't want to argue. After all, who was she to tell Neal what to do? She was hardly experienced in the ways of sex. The pills helped for a few months, but the last night before she got arrested, they decided not to work. Not that she was still upset over it - she got an amazing child out of it and in the end, her relationship with Neal was nothing more than a plot point in the wild story that was her life.

     Killian was thrilled. When he found Emma sitting on the floor of the bathroom, pregnancy test in hand, he wasn't sure what was going on, but when she finally explained it...

\-----

      _" Emma?" Killian called from downstairs. He'd come home early from his job at the library and was expecting Emma to be on the couch (she was usually watching Netflix)._

_Emma didn't respond, although she heard him loud and clear. Her eyes were focused on the test - well, one of them. She'd gotten a few, three to be exact, all different kinds. She just couldn't believe..._

_Killian trotted up the stairs, noticing the bathroom door closed, the light shining through the crack at the bottom. He knocked twice._

_"Emma? You in there?"_

_Emma wiped a tear away from her cheek. What was he going to do? Would he leave her? He didn't ask for this - neither of us did. A new kid in THIS town? It was doomed to fail. How could she raise a child when a new crisis was always underway?_

_Standing, she turned around and unlocked the door. Killian's smile at seeing her quickly dropped as he saw the red around her eyes._

_"Emma, what's wrong? What happened?"_

_Emma let out a sob and dropped to the floor, her knees knocking against the tile. Killian followed her movements and knelt in front of her._

_"I'm-- I'm p-pregnant. I'm so sorry," she cried, the pregnancy test falling from her hand. Hook's eyes widened at her words._

_"Wh-- What? You're--" He couldn't speak - pregnant? She was pregnant?_

_"This whole week-- It-- it wasn't some stomach virus. Doctor Whale, he-- he said I was pregnant and I didn't believe him, so I got the tests and-- it's true..." Emma refused to look Killian in the eye. His mind went blank for a moment as he took in her words. Pregnant. Emma was pregnant. He was the father. He was going to BE a father._

_"Killian, say something. Please."_

_The words pulled him out of his mind and he looked at her. Her dewy eyes met him in terror, causing him to pull her close into a hug._

_"Emma, why on EARTH would you apologize for this?"_

_"Because...this shouldn't have happened. I thought-- I was so SURE that--"_

_"Emma." Killian's voice interrupted, and she stopped talking. "I won't leave you. I love you so, so much and I will love our child as well. All I ever wanted was a family, darling. And I had that. You, Henry, even David."_

_Emma giggled at that last name._

_"I was content, and now, I'm so happy. Are you?"_

_"I...I don't know, honestly. I'm scared."_

_"Don't be, Swan. I'll be by your side every step of the way."_

_\-----_

     Three months later, everyone knows. Emma was worried how Henry would take it, but the smile he gave her immediately after being told put her mind to rest. He'd been almost as helpful as Killian - running to Granny's, who was more than willing to cook up a cheese-covered pickle or a piece of cake with olives on the side (although the weirdest thing in Henry's opinion was when she asked for hot cocoa WITHOUT cinnamon). During her morning sickness, he would leave upon her request. She didn't need him seeing THAT side of her.

     Her parents visited Emma's apartment whenever they had the chance, but between Neal, Mary Margaret's job as a teacher, and David now taking over four days of shift instead of his usual three (Emma worked Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday before all this, and David would take Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays), it was a bit difficult to spend a ton of time together. Emma still worked: there was no stopping that woman, but her father insisted she take over his days so she didn't have to work as often. He also usually worked the mornings on her days, because she was busy throwing up at home.

     Killian told Belle what had happened and she understood when he stopped coming in to work. He wanted to spend his moments by Emma's side (except for the times she yelled at him to leave, which he obliged for her sake), no matter what pain she was in that day. He was there to make Emma's appointments while she slept and he was there to watch  _Princess Bride_ on repeat every night.

\-----

     It had been another long day for Emma and she finally had the opportunity to lay down beside Killian, falling asleep with his arms wrapped around her waist. The small bump on her stomach was definitely NOT something Emma enjoyed, knowing it would only get bigger, but Killian refused to say anything negative about it. When they curled up together, his fingers would drift across it, when they dozed off, she'd awaken to his hand protectively holding her.

     Emma sat up, her stomach tightening in an unfamiliar way. The only light was from the full moon shining over the tops of their curtains. Looking over at the clock, she read it.

**1:47 A.M.**

    "Killian...Killian, wake up." She shook him by the shoulder as her gaze traveled between her legs to a dark spot on the bed.

    "Hmm...?" Killian awoke immediately. He'd been used to it - occasionally (well, every other night, to be quite honest), she'd wake him up, asking him to find her food of some sort.

     Emma flicked on her lamp and took in a shaky breath.

     "I'm bleeding."

\-----

     "Emma...I'm afraid something happened. You had a miscarriage," Doctor Whale explained, his voice low and apologetic.

     She couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe. Her whole world was shut down, the lights turned off. How could this have happened? What kind of fate WAS this? Tricking her into thinking something went right in her life, when yet again, it was proven to fail. As she broke down in sobs, Killian tried to keep his voice steady as he spoke to the doctor.

     "Wh-- What was it? Why? How could this have happened? She was doing fine-- You said so yourself!"

     "We don't know what happened, exactly."

     Killian rose to his feet rapidly, a tear spilling over his cheek. "What?! How you could you not know? You're supposed to be able to tell me-- to tell US-- what went wrong!"

     "Killian...please don't." Emma's voice was so small, he could just barely make out what she said. "This is my fault."

     "Emma, don't blame yourself."

     Emma's eyes met Doctor Whale's. "Don't blame myself? We both know what happened. It was my magic, wasn't it?"

     "We don't know that. We'd have to do some tests--"

     "Stop lying!" Emma screamed. The light above the nurse's desk burst, and Emma began sobbing once more. "It was my magic...I-- I KILLED my own child..."

     It was Killian this time who interrupted the blonde.

     "Emma, love, stop that. You're powers are LIGHT, remember? They don't kill unless that's what you want, and I KNOW you never wanted this to happen. Please don't blame yourself for this. Please."

     Doctor Whale looked at the floor. "I'll leave you two alone. I'm very sorry, Emma. I truly am."

     "How could it NOT be my fault? Our baby was fine, healthy...normal. And then suddenly, this happens?"

     Killian scoured his brain for a response. How could he show her it was only fate that brought this upon them?

     "You can leave."

     That caused Hook to look up and over at Emma, who was trying to contain herself.

     "You can. I won't be mad. You never asked for a child, and you never asked to lose one. I'm sorry for what I've put you through, and you can go. You don't have to stay with me out of guilt or pity. I'll understand."

     Killian couldn't hold his tears back anymore as he practically jumped at Emma, pulling her into a tight hug. They cried into each other's shoulders, trying to form words.

     "I'll never leave you. I love you. I loved our child and I will never forget them. But if you think for one damn second I won't stay by you when bad things happen, then you don't know me. I spent three hundred years dedicated to getting revenge. Do you truly think I would give any less for the woman I love?"

     Emma tries to answer, but ends up letting out another heartbreaking cry as she burrows against him. 

 

**Fate always tries to interfere in peoples' lives, but it won't succeed. Not when it's trying to destroy True Love, because True Love can never be taken away.**


End file.
